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  “Won't your brother suffer? Will she leave him?”

  “She might now that no one is funding them. If she leaves him and he can't get drugs so much the better. I'll pay for rehab. He's my brother despite everything and she wasn't worth fighting over. I know that now—I was close to my brother when we were boys. Drugs have changed him. That offer of rehab has always been open.”

  “Yvonne must have come around to see me right after you saw her. She said she was one of your clients and had stayed in the same apartment.”

  “Once when their landlord threw them out, I let them stay there. They trashed the place. So she wasn't lying about that. She did stay there.”

  “Oh god,” she says, “I'm sorry. I believed every word she said.”

  “Come home with me.”

  “I can't. I have a show to perform. I'm on stage in fifteen minutes.”

  “Don't go on.”

  “I have to. It's my only job.”

  “But you aced the audition. You'll be a star. You don't need to do this.”

  “I'm going to turn it down.”

  CHAPTER 44

  Victoria

  “No one has contacted me about that,” he says. I can tell he's puzzled that I'm not going to do it. Maybe a bit hacked off too. I don't know.

  “I haven't told anyone yet. I just read the whole script.”

  “You don't like it?”

  “I don't like my part in it. I fought with Jimmy about appearing nude on stage. The script involves me appearing nude in front of a potential audience of millions. Why didn't you tell me? You must have known I wouldn't do that. Did it just slip your mind?”

  “I didn't know but what does it matter? Don't turn it down for that. You're beautiful. You’ll be a sensation.”

  “You just don't get it do you? I don't want to appear like that. All my life I have been pushed to do this, pushed to do that for the sake of becoming a star, to appeal better to whoever the paying audience is—people who don't give a shit about me—first my mother pushed me, then Jimmy and now you.”

  “Victoria. I care for you. But don't give up the part. They can use a body double. I'll talk to them.”

  “But then people will just think it's me. That would be just as bad. I won't do that.”

  “No one cares about nudity any more. It's nothing.”

  “It's not nothing to me. You can tell them I'm not doing the part or I will.”

  “I can't tell them that. I spent all my time convincing them to give you an audition.”

  “I'm sorry I wasted your time. I have to go on stage now. Just go, Ash. You're just like everyone else.”

  CHAPTER 45

  Ash

  She's wrong I'm not like everyone else. I watch her from the sidelines—she's as breathtaking as ever. It kills me that she could be a star in the making instead of a dancer who never reaches her potential for one small thing.

  I get the director on the phone.

  “It's Victoria. She's having cold feet.”

  “You're fucking kidding me.”

  “She's upset about the nudity scenes...”

  I watch the rest of the performance. When she ends up tied in her ribbons I want to go to her and gather her up like that and carry her off. But if I do I imagine some heavy will be right there stopping me and for all I know she'll be on his side and not mine. I have to tread carefully. It's all out of my control. I don't like that but I'm trying not to let it get to me.

  I remember what the director said. “For fuck's sake in this day and age! But to tell you the truth Jack is having second thoughts about the nude scenes too. You know what writers are like. The whole thing is supposed to be emotional suspense not tits everywhere you look. He thinks it will show more vulnerability if she wears a silk camisole that the stalker talks about tearing off so we're looking at those scenes again. Keep her on board for now. I'll let you know.”

  “You're still here,” she says when I'm there to meet her at the back door of the bar as she leaves. “You don't give up do you?”

  “Not when it matters.”

  “Are you worried about your ten per cent?”

  “Fuck my ten percent. I think you'll find it's twelve and a half anyway.”

  “I should have negotiated you down but it doesn't matter. Any percentage of zero is still zero.”

  “You know I don't need the money. I don't care about it. I only care about you.”

  “So my mother said. So Jimmy said at one time.”

  “I'm not your mother. I'm not Jimmy.”

  “But you're trying to control me just the same.”

  “Shit Victoria. I've never felt less in control. I don't want you to do anything that makes you unhappy. Tear up the contract. Do the movie. Don't do the movie. Dance. Don't dance. Show your naked body to the world and dance the fandango or wear a nun's habit. I still want you. And I'll never stop wanting you.”

  Her eyes widen. Am I starting to get through to her? “I mean it. I just want you to be happy. I want you whatever you want to do.” My heart is thudding. How can I get through to her?

  “Nun's habit,” she says, finally, her face dead pan. “That's kinky. You never said I'd have to dress up in a nun's habit,” but her face cracks into a smile and then she's laughing.

  “Oh Victoria.” I take her in my arms and hold her, breathing in the scent of her! I missed that so much.

  She steps back as if she's not quite ready for that. Fuck! Why did I go leaping ahead again?

  “Sorry,” she says. “It's okay. I'm just....oh god, I don't know,” and she kisses me on the cheek and lets me hold her.

  “I talked to the director. Wearing a silk camisole might be his final offer. I'm waiting to see.”

  “Really? I wouldn't mind that at all.” and she hugs me back

  “You look very good in silk.”

  She's looking up at me and I can't help kissing her. I can't hold back with this girl. I kiss her the only way I can, demanding, relentless, laying bare my need for her. And she responds. She responds!

  “You look good in silk,” I say when we pause to draw breath. “And out of it.”

  “But for your eyes only,” she says and I'm starting to like her reticence about displaying herself to anyone else.

  CHAPTER 46

  Victoria

  “Can I take you home, Miss Bronson?” Ash asks me.

  “I'm not sure where home is anymore.” I'm like a misplaced person. I'm not sure where I belong.

  “Where do you live these days?”

  “I have a room in an apartment I share with three others but it's not exactly home. You mean you didn't stalk me and know all that already?”

  “I'm afraid not. Do you want to be stalked?”

  “No but it's not a great neighborhood. It might have been good to think someone was watching over me when I went home in the early hours of the morning.”

  I hear him take a sharp intake of breath. “It's not safe Victoria. I don't want you doing that again.” Then he looks contrite. “Sorry, that's my control freakery coming out again. But it isn't safe. I'll have Miller give you a lift if you're going to do that. Your apartment is still waiting for you if you want it.”

  “I thought you'd have put someone else in there by now.”

  “You're not so easily replaced.”

  “You neither. You're one of a kind, for sure.”

  We smile at each other.

  “Or we can go back to my place,” he says. “I can show you my fine plumbing.”

  I can't help laughing at that, remembering that first time when he ran me a bath.

  “My place in Eaton Square or yours?” he asks.

  “Your place.” I don't know what he'd make of my roommates.

  Miller smiles at me when we get in the car. The guy is usually stone-faced but I think he's pleased to see me again or perhaps pleased to have his boss in a better mood. I'm not sure. Ash holds me in the back of the car. It feels surreal to be in his arms again and oh so good to be wron
g about him, to be wrong about all of it.

  CHAPTER 47

  Ash

  Miller whisks us home in no time through the London traffic. Or so it felt like. I took no notice. It was just great to have Victoria in my arms again, holding her tight.

  And there we are again where we were not so long ago in my hallway.

  “Do you want another bath? I'm afraid it's Mrs. Hanson's night off again so we'll have to run it ourselves.” She knows I'm joking, right?

  “Does Mrs. Hanson do everything around here?”

  “She does a whole lot but she never runs baths. I do that all by myself.” Victoria laughs. “Besides I have a shower in my bathroom. I never take a bath. You can use the guest room again though if you like.”

  “Get in with me.” She reaches out to me, blushing a little. It's as if she doesn't want to let me go now that we are together again. I know the feeling. How can I refuse an invitation like that?

  It feels good lying against the side of the tub, jets of water dealing with every sore muscle. I have been so tense today and I didn't even know it. I wanted Victoria and now she's lying against me, her soft skin against my body, her bottom between my thighs, her breasts bobbing in the water. I play with her nipples and she moans a little and arches against me.

  “I love the way you respond to every touch,” I say.

  She turns and looks at me. “Let's get out.”

  There are towels warming and we grab them. But I can't wait to get dried to hold her. I wrap my huge towel around both of us. Our wet bodies, slick with jasmine oil, rub together. I've never felt anything as erotic as her hard nipples against my skin but it has nothing to do with the situation and everything to do with her. She moans as she holds me tight. I hope she feels it too.

  We share a hot slow kiss, full of promise.

  “Tie me up,” she says. “Like you did with the ribbons.”

  “But you don't like me telling you what to do. You don't like me controlling you. Tying you up is the ultimate control and I don't want you running out on me again. You can tell me what to do instead.”

  “No way. I don't like you telling me what to do out of bed. But in bed, it's kinda hot.”

  I grin at her. I can't help it. If she won’t do what I tell her all the time I can live with that. But playtime, that's something else.

  CHAPTER 48

  Victoria

  Ash looks like a kid in a candy store. “Stand against the bed post, facing me.” He kisses me on the nose and holds me for a moment. Then he slowly winds the black silk rope around my chest beneath my breasts and up over my shoulders, looping it around, until he has made a kind of harness. He attaches the ends of the rope up high where the post meets the top of the bed. It's restrictive rather than tight, but the feel of the ropes around my body makes me think of the last time he tied me up in France, a memory that sends a jolt through my body and makes me want to reach out for him. We're both still naked from the bath and I want him inside me.

  But he has me bend my elbows behind my back and he ties my hands and arms together and then to the post so I can't touch him at all. I just feel the hard length of him as he brushes past me. Is he tormenting me? Deliberately doing that?

  He grins. I think he is!

  “Is that still comfortable?” he asks. He's making sure the ropes are snug but not tight enough to cut off circulation.

  “That's fine.” I smile shyly at him. I still feel so new to this. But I want to try it again.

  “You look so fuckable like that.” His eyes sparkle with mischief. “But not yet. I'm going to make you come with my mouth first.”

  He kisses me, our tongues dancing together, his fingers strumming my nipples making me moan into his mouth and then he kisses down my body, simple deliberate kisses tracing a path. As he approaches the apex of my legs, he changes direction and kisses a trail running down one leg to my knee and then upwards, a trail of light butterfly kisses up the inside of my thigh but he bypasses my core and continues up once more. I want to scream “no” but I only writhe and whimper. Then he sucks at my breasts and I moan harder. My nipples are so hard I think they will burst.

  “Perhaps we should bind these beauties,” he says, “and make them more sensitive,” but he's only teasing. “Maybe later.”

  Then he runs his tongue down my body and into my belly button and I squirm.

  “Please,” I say.

  He looks up. “Yes? Is there something you want?”

  “Fuck me.”

  “Soon,” he says. “Have a little patience. The night is young.”

  I'm not sure I can bear it. I want him inside me and to never be separated again but he has other ideas. He's kneeling at my feet, lifting my foot and putting it on his shoulder, opening me up for his tongue. I feel the heat of his breath on me and I blush. I know how open, how wet I am. He licks me, one gentle lick.

  “Sweet,” he says and continues lapping at me.

  I'm writhing and squirming, balanced on one foot but I can't move. I can't do anything. And then he picks up the leg I'm standing on and puts it over his other shoulder, his face buried between my legs, the scruff on his cheeks against the skin of my inner thighs and I have no defense, nothing to stop his tongue, his mouth, his lips doing whatever he likes as he kneels there. “Don't you dare come,” he says.

  My breath hitches. He must know how close I am. He's seen me come so many times before.

  “If you do I'll have to punish you.” His voice is gruff.

  He'll have to punish me then because he's sucking and licking and probing every inch of me. I'm coming and there's nothing I can do about it. My body tightens and an orgasm rips through me, my legs clutching his head.

  He looks up and kisses my stomach as he lowers my legs.

  “Still okay?” he asks.

  I nod. My arms are aching a little but it's a good ache.

  “You know I'll have to punish you, don't you, for coming without permission?”

  “I couldn't wait.” And I can't wait for his hands on me.

  “Think how I feel right now, waiting.” He laughs. “I'm going to untie you from the post then I want you over my lap.”

  My hands are still bound in prayer position behind me. He sits on the edge of the bed and I struggle to get over his lap and balance there but he helps me, the side of my body against his hard cock.

  “You have a very delectable bottom, Miss Bronson, ripe for spanking. Tell me if it's too much.”

  He spanks me hard. I can feel the heat each time he strikes my bottom and a little lingering heat after each blow. After a minute or two, there's no reprieve, just a constant heat from my behind and an aching need between my legs. Every time he strikes me, I let out a moan but I know he feels it too because my body juts against him and he makes a little sound in his throat.

  “Fuck me,” I say.

  He pretends not to understand. “What was that you want? More of this?” He spanks me twice more.

  “I want you to fuck me.”

  “Do you deserve to be fucked?”

  “Yes. No. Whatever. Fuck me anyway.”

  “You ask so nicely, how can I refuse?”

  He spanks me with one final stroke. “Up you get.” He helps me up.

  My bottom is stinging but somehow it's good. It makes every nerve ending alive with need.

  He undoes the rope around my arms but leaves my wrists bound together and then he ties them to the top of the bed so my arms are stretched high above my head. It feels so good to have my hands in that new position and not behind me. I'm leaning against the post, the cold of the wood against my sore bottom.

  “I'm going to take you hard.” His blue eyes are almost dark with hunger. “Are you ready?”

  I nod. I've never been more ready for anything. My breath is ragged with need, my mind fixated on him and what he's going to do. There's nothing I want more than feeling him inside me.

  But despite his promise to take me hard, he parts my thighs and then pushes inside me s
lowly inch by inch, as if he has all the time and control in the world. I close my eyes and feel that, so good, but he doesn't move and I want more. I can't stop myself begging. “No! Harder!”

  He kisses me, putting an end to any protest and pulls half out again. “You want this?”

  I want to squeal in frustration but he doesn't leave me waiting for long. He doesn't even wait for my answer. He just grabs onto my hips and plunges deep inside me as far as he can go, ramming into me hard, and then he hammers into me over and over again. I hear myself grunt like an animal in pain, the smacking sound of flesh on flesh, my sore behind banging against the bed post. But there is no pain, nothing I can feel anyway, nothing but the sensation of his hard length spearing me, impaling me again and again, making me his. I don't care about anything else. I want that. I want him embedded in me, tight and deep, driving into me as he calls out all kinds of profanities, his breath coming faster, shallower, more out of control. And it's a good job I'm tied up because I can hardly stand as a tidal wave of sensation, of liquid heat, tears through me and I shudder around him. He pounds into me once more and erupts deep inside me with a deep animal growl and finally calls out my name.

  He unties me and pulls me down onto the bed, wrapping the silk cover around us. “Do you know how much I missed you?” he says, with that rich as coffee-beans voice of his.

  “I think I could tell, if that was anything to go by.” I smile and kiss his chest where I'm lying against him. I never want to move from this place in his arms.